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Getting older sucks!
12-01-2017, 11:30 PM
Post: #1
Getting older sucks!
Long story short...my mom is in the hospital and I am the one making decisions. I knew for sure that I have power of attorney if the need arose, for both of my parents, and that does not include healthcare decisions. With the current state of things, I am now in a position to have to do things that no child looks forward to. Apparently, the hospital near my parents(where mom is now) does not have a copy of the health care proxy, but I do so hopefully they accept the original I have.
Working in healthcare, I know about these things and thought these needed to be asked about and put on file any time a person of advanced age was admitted...but they don't have it.
I know my family's decision with this one, but it should be my dad signing...but we are afraid he no longer can. I just hope this is the end of it for a while, this is hitting hard.

LOUD EXHAUST IS FUN! AM I SHOUTING?
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12-02-2017, 07:27 AM (This post was last modified: 12-02-2017 07:30 AM by tobiasg1995.)
Post: #2
Getting older sucks!
I'm sorry that you are going this Tom. It's a difficult part of life, that will ultimately get harder to deal with. My wife went through it with her mom last year, and I went through it with my stepdad last Christmas. If you have siblings, it can get messy. My wife dealt with that with her sisters. I know you know this, but end of life is not pretty, and can bring the true side of people out. We learned a lot about family and how cold and nasty people can be. My advice would be to talk with a lawyer to get everything in order especially for medical decisions and financial decisions. When her mom passed, she didn't have a penny to her name, because of how nursing homes operate and funeral costs are ridiculous. We are still playing catch up over a year later. There was a lot of unexpected bills. It sucks having to deal with it, no one wants to do it.

My mom, dad and stepmom are getting up in age and I know eventually decisions will need to be made, and we need to start talking with my parents. I see the signs in them already especially with my Mom, that my sister and I will need to step in and take over.
You have our support here from all of us, and you know you can talk to anyone here on the forum.
One thing that helped us was staying busy to keep our minds occupied, because idle time will just eat at you.

If you need to chat let me know.
Toby
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12-02-2017, 09:19 AM
Post: #3
Getting older sucks!
I guess, luckily, we have my aunt(mom's big sister) who is a nursing professor and has been an RN for 40 years, if she can't answer a question, she knows someone who can. We don't like talking to her since she thinks she knows everything(and likes telling everyone what they should be doing)...but she kinda does.
I certainly know about keeping busy, I have seen 2 coworkers go through the end of life for their parents.
Now, these procedures for mom are not THAT bad(of course 2 weeks ago she was fine...things change), but we have things together...I think.
The worst part is seeing the woman who has always been there for EVERYONE in a position where I can't physically help.

LOUD EXHAUST IS FUN! AM I SHOUTING?
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12-03-2017, 12:11 AM
Post: #4
RE: Getting older sucks!
Sorry to hear about your Mother Tom, I hope everything goes as well as it can in a situation like this. Having gone through this recently with my Dad I have some idea what you are going through, but everyone's situation is unique. You and your family are in my prayers.
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12-03-2017, 07:41 AM
Post: #5
RE: Getting older sucks!
Getting older does suck and I will keep you in my prayers .
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12-03-2017, 07:52 PM
Post: #6
RE: Getting older sucks!
Im sorry to hear this, Tom.

My mom was in a minor fender bender and was in the hospital with minor whiplash. But I was there and worried sick.

This might not be so uncommon, but some of you know Im messed up and have days I can't move and scream in agony. I usually am the one contemplating the end (not willingly mind you, just my body giving out from one system or another). I still was there, despite how I was in the ER that very day. She drove me then dropped me off home because I couldnt move that morning. Luckily I was better that night.

Shes ok now...Im still the same. I hate it though. I hate seeing my mother get older. She's been helping me the past few years (the only one really), and Im terrified that if she really needed me, I may not me able to care for her. Ok this is a bit too scary...

I think I need to look at pictures of kittens or something.

Either way, I hope shes ok. And Im sure she appreciates having a son that cares, and cares enough to mention her here. I'll be praying for the both of you too.
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12-04-2017, 01:07 PM
Post: #7
RE: Getting older sucks!
I feel ya to some extent man. My grandmother is getting up there and we're pretty sure she's decently into dementia. Mom can't really do anything until she's medically declared but she's recently gotten a new primary so we'll see. Will be praying for you and her and your dad.
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12-05-2017, 11:00 PM
Post: #8
RE: Getting older sucks!
Tom, I have been there and it sucks, Just remember we are praying for and thinking about you and your family.
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12-08-2017, 08:31 AM
Post: #9
RE: Getting older sucks!
Sorry Tom, I didn't know and had no idea you were going through this. I went through this crap with my Mom. I mean my Dad is still around but he wasn't able to make any decisions at the time... mentally and emotionally inept in that situation. We had to put her in a rehabilitation facility and was preparing to get all of our paperwork in order just in case because she wasn't making progress. If it wasn't for my older sister living in the house who had a disability, they probably would have taken it.
Let me know if you need anything.
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12-08-2017, 08:16 PM
Post: #10
RE: Getting older sucks!
So sorry to hear all about these things guys, hang in there
------
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